Okay ... as we all know, porn can be found all over the internet. My own search for the seemingly innocent search of "roms" even turned up some porn links.

However, I believe the question on everyone's mind is, of course, If you look for porn, will it appear?

Therefore, I thought up The Great Pr0n Search.

I wanted to know if "horny midget goat-loving lesbian transsexual mormon hermaphrodites" actually turns up that result ... or something far more sinister. And so I went to my search engine of choice, Google, and performed the search.

The results ¹ were disappointing.

Therefore, I offer this open letter to the internet pr0n industry:

Dear Sir or Madam:

I represent the children of the hippies - I am probably a love child. Because of the many drugs that are undoubtedly floating freely about my spinal fluid, my views are somewhat distorted. My sisters are not quite as whack, as I am the firstborn in the family and received all of the residual effects of my parents' innocent experimentation with strange, consciousness-expanding chemicals.

Therefore, I beg of you, please - offer horny midget goat-loving lesbian transsexual mormon hermaphrodite pr0n.

Sincerely,
Lindel

I hope that my letter reaches those who have influence: the goats, for without their willingness to be l0v3d by horny transsexual mormon lesbian midgets, we could have no horny midget goat-loving lesbian transsexual mormon hermaphrodite pr0n.

Addendum: Since the original post of this rant, just over two years ago, that link to the Google search has yielded Your search - "horny midget goat-loving lesbian transsexual mormon hermaphrodites" - did not match any documents. Sadly sadly, the link now does yield something. And it is with a heavy heart I let it stay, because it proves a point: one man can make a difference. I may be the founder of a horribly unspeakable sort of nekkid inter-web piccies. I'm truly very sorry. Thanks to Serendipidous for pointing this out to me (as she said, now we know there's either a Satan or a Santa).