Just got an e-mail from Emily, which took a bizarre twist as I began replying. Ladies and gentlemen, my reply:

> It's been 5 days since I've heard from you. Are you dead?

Yes, but the doctors were able to reattach my head and much of my spinal column, but the cost was high; I now have the lower body of a minature pony, which makes me look absolutely ridiculous. And please, no jokes like "pissing like a racehorse" or "hung like a horse" - I'm still very sensitive about my new body.

> Paul wrote to say he might be going down to the beach in
> his broke-ass car, and I was wondering if he made it.

Yeah, he made it. He's here and alive, though he insists that before he leaves, he's going to have to saddle me up and ride up and down the beach.

> Oh, wait. You're in Maryland, aren't you? well,
> have fun but come back soon so we may dish.

I'm not in Maryland; car travel is kind of impossible now. We've located a horse trailer, and I'll be making the journey that way. We leave in a week - the 17th to the 21st.

> I've had much family upheaval since last time we spoke.

Do tell.

Lindel M. Jones (the M is for "Miniature Pony")